And so as I sit on the steps and block out all the emotions of grannys funeral tomorrow I am reminded just how important family is.
I can cry and cry and keel over (doubt it) tomorrow but I know my family will be there to try and comfort me while they wipe away their own snot. Lol. In grandmas death the majority of the fam flew over (a reunion that should have happened a few years ago) and we are together.
Yesterday I went costco with a few adults n they was acting like such kids. But they had a new moment in their memories of time together. They argued today over grannys eulogy. It was about what year she got her leg amputated. I found it hilarious, even though it was passionate shouting in my livingroom as they recollected different stories and why they know it was this year or that year. Haha, I dont even know myself.
However Im so happy and grateful for family. I had a moment of true bliss thinking about all the blood family thatll be here. Thats a lot in one place at a time. Its like Whitney’s funeral- through her death, Jesus’ name (He made it so) was proclaimed to the world via cnn and the Winans family’s heavy involvement. Through grannys death (she’s my gran not my nan) she brought the fam together. I wanna take loads a pics n enjoy r couple days left of being together. This is a nice memory for life even though its a sad time. My thought on family and my family has changed. Albeit ill stick between having 2-4 kids and not the 8 granny had, I cant handle all a that blackness.
So ill go find my cousins that r somewhere on my street, get jokes and remember this. AND find a plate a food, knwamean. My heart doesnt ache, its soaring because of the love and revelation of what my grandma did and lessons bestowed in us. I may be the same me in a month but I hope the love my heart feels for my entire family will forever stay. I respect all a them and imma continue to pray for the big ass clan granny started up.
Love you princess.
Ill write again on the weekend and maybe edit this and add a pic. Im on a social networking ban for I think 30 hours, my best friend said so. But a blog is not a social network so Yh 😛 xx