Reflection on the last day of being 20

A month ago I made up in my mind I needed to see the renewing of my mind and transformation of my life to move forward (it’s in the Bible). And now (1 day before my birthday) I realised how much I’m changing.

I’m happy I no longer entertain certain thoughts, emotions and behaviours that I used to. I can’t physically do certain things or go places because I feel sick to my stomach approaching it. The month ago me wudda happily got involved but now I won’t.

I’ve been living and learning to fall in love with me. The Bible says He knew me before He made me and has thoughts of good and not evil to bring about an expected end (Jeremiah). Right now I’m finding the reasons why He would even care to think of me so much and prepare a path for me- a constant sinner. But it’s by God’s good grace and mercy that’s keeping me.

A lot of my attitudes are changing and I’m refining and taking things as it comes with Jesus by my side.

Tomorrow I’m 21 and I can say I love me. I am beautifully and wonderfully made. I love my long legs and chubby belly. I love the random moles on my arm. I dislike my weight proportions but I’m working on that- exercise etc. I am grateful I’m alive and am learning about my faults and good points. It’s challenging facing my reality. But I have to. I have to know me in Christ and love it before I can open myself to loving another.

Yoooo I’m 21 tomorrow! LOL. Just sat blasting my love John Legend ‘Evolver’. Last day of 20 and a great soundtrack to end my day 🙂

Living, learning and loving

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