Is it just me or does this happen to you?
I don’t always want to socialize with people. At points I wish I could excuse myself from conversations just for 5 minutes because my brain emits a no Kirah you’re not stimulated nor do you care warning so behave.
As I’m here (Espana) I have to socialize and make friends etc but more so now than ever do I just want a pure English, slightly ghetto conversation just so I don’t have to watch my English and go deep about life and this experience.
I’m already out of my comfort zone which I am loving, but the social zone feels to be that when I exit the box on the corner, I see it as a cliff, it becomes 3D and I don’t want to always jump to see how far it is. Sometimes I jump and it flattens back to 2D as if the world is flat so the jump is similar to Louboutin 6″ heels and then I’m chillin and the comfort box looks like a square on a flat table where there is no gravity in the space, you just float, fly and breathe.
The social comfort zone is like a tail on a kite, where the Spanish experience is the kite and it’s flying and soaring and the tail is slithering and sliding and cutting shapes in the wind (lol). I can’t cut it off, because I need the tail for the aerodynamics and to help create a more comfortable ride.
I have a feeling sometimes my posts are read and taken very personal. I don’t care, but saying that if you take it to heart and think it’s you when it’s not then I care. Posts are snapshots of a season or 5 minutes of my day. I woke up on the right side of the wrong bed so I’m allowed to feel like a social hobbit that wants a few days to them self. Then I’d cry a pity party saying “I’m LONELY, nobody LURVVVESSS me!”. Meehhhh, I won’t. Even in England socializing sometimes is too much for me, even though it’s better for me and the other person is up for it.
Anywho, I just wanted to write. Tension and turmoil laced knots need untying.
Have a good day peeps!