I don’t like to complain, trust me I really don’t. I’ve done enough already for this final year of uni that I just want to get back to my grateful attitude.
I’ve always been quite aware of others feelings and I try to respond appropriately and not hurt people. But when people attack your character knowingly, I feel the elastic snap and am quite proud when I or the individual hurting doesn’t go all emotional and launch for the person. When people attack unknowingly, I guess you have to reflect and take their opinion into consideration before you allow yourself to go all emotions first. We are emotional beings but there’s a time and a place to use wisdom.
I had someone attack one of my strengths and I saw the error of my ways because “I did not know” certain policies and I guess that makes me ignorant. To be honest, it hurt like I was slapped by a man that randomly came up to me and nearly had me stumbling over. It physically almost made me sick, because I’m in tuned to who I am that it hurts when a professional or respected person comes at me. Maybe I’m too into my emotions and I’ve realised that recently, uni has made me into a little cry baby (which I hate) so I kinda have to go through my emotions on a regular basis.
The example I’m thinking of could probably get me into some form of trouble and I really don’t want any more problems at my door. I have learned the most about life this year and I’ve cried the most in the last 3 months than probably in the last 3 years. I have no true positive message here, I’m not even asking for help, I’m just writing since my words are the only thing that doesn’t blame me for the broken vases so many people keep telling me that I caused. My words are mine and freeing for my mind. Being blamed for problems is not a nice thing, you kind of regress to a child like manner where someone you respect tells you that your actions are wrong. The good things is, you can learn from that and aim to not do it again!
It’s not good to care what others think, but you still have to listen and check yourself. You still need to become a better human being, if someone says you’re a little insensitive you need to check that out and learn what situations you’re more insensitive in and how to become less so for future occasions. However if they said you shouldn’t wear purple stripes with red squares and you feel like wearing it today then forget them and do what you want and live outside of the box!
Now back to my uni work since I’m early for my fave module thus far!