Journaling

Things happen all the time and as someone who writes often I should write a journal but I stopped doing that years ago. I’ve been meaning to do it urgently since summer but have only written twice maybe and I will this week I hope.

I don’t write the depths of my thoughts. I only think to write when it’s bad not when it’s good. I don’t want to look back and see sadness and pain. I don’t want someone to find it and see that part of me, yet we all have a very deep place in our heads we sometimes flutter to. I know my life hasn’t been perfect and filled with bright colours and maybe not writing would convince the future me that from 16 years on (I’m now 22) that it was actually okay. When I think of it, it’s only 5% of my young adult life I can recall as being bad. When you write all the sorrow it can consume the page and give it so much weight that in the grand scheme of things it’s actually not much. Maybe there’s logic in not journaling, yet it would probably do me good to write privately (my cute book) than publicly (my blogs).

I see the pros and cons of it. It would be good to see a problem, see the ways I attempted to resolve it and use it as a future reference point seeing as every failure is a lesson that leads to success.

I’m a bit better at speaking the problem out loud (e.g. prayer), as I’m a bit lazy to write and I kind of want to just tell Jesus about my day because at least then it’s someone who already knows it all and wouldn’t judge me if they found my journal.

Hmm. To write more in the new year or not?

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