I constantly surprise myself.
Excuse my self esteem issues, I also believe in God so a lot of my everything I attribute to Him opening doors. Some of the self doubt is from doubting God. Asking for Him to do things when other things I’ve wanted that are actually good and valuable to my future still have not been answered. God and my relationship with Him is wrapped up in my identity.
Let’s move on.
As a somewhat introvert, I don’t like talking a lot most of the times. I love to listen and have been sharpening that skill since being in uni, so I like to question people and their beliefs about life just to make them think more and become more. With that ability I can question myself too so I become a better me. But some things like success, or doing really well in areas surprises me when I thought I did an “okay” job. The last few tests I’ve done have been remarkably higher than recent years, and seeing them on screen I’m like “what, how?” Yes I know I put in the effort but it’s still weird when I know I could have done more in the time of studying.
Extroverts I know can jump and shout and be super pleased at every successful accomplishment that comes there way.
Me on the other hand, if I do react really positively to it I get kind of shy. Maybe humble would be the better word. After looking at one of my marks I smiled sheepishly at the laptop screen, “yeah I did that”. I’ve also noticed the more enjoyable I find the subject or studying session the happier I am with my higher results.
But obviously when things hit the fan, I say nothing and feel somewhat disheartened for not doing as well as I could have. I assume that would be normal for all but I believe introverts don’t wallow in their defeat for too long. They pick up, get feedback, find a plan and aim to put in more effort to then produce better.
This is just my take on it. I’m grateful for the high marks, I inwardly smile and outwardly thank God for the result and mentally pat the brain for putting in a solid effort.
Cake time! 😀