Self doubt

Self doubt it will eat you up and have you feeling unworthy, goals unattainable and bring about a belief that you are simply just not good enough for anything.

I say that because often times, my degree has me feeling this way a few days a month.

I broke a promise today, I said I would not cry about this degree again. Yet there I was on the train 3 seconds from bursting out into gut wrenching ugly Kim K sobs for at least 15 minutes straight. My bestie (who I’m super grateful for) was the only person I could actually speak to since there’s no hold bars between us.

I felt like utter mierda, I came home and laid in bed for 2 hours and didn’t move from my crossed legged, folded over, head in mattress, hands laced through and locked under position. It sounds strange but it’s quite comfortable. I think it’s fine to break down, just don’t stay there for too long. 2 hours was enough and that’s all I actually had time for and I felt better just talking to myself and figuring things out and how to move from feeling not good enough.

10 hours later with a soar throat, 2 more 90% completed assignments and I feel like I’m good enough again. I don’t mean to ascribe my self worth to my degree, but when this is your life for 6 months straight and you are heavily invested in the process- this becomes your identity! I tell people all the time, uni is my life right now and I have to give it my all. Sad, but true.

So when you’re low, take a moment to step back and find another way. Okay?

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