I failed it though. Mainly because I got lazy.
So I had read about using Tinder in China as a “find friends” app and I really wanted to make non company friends that were Western. It was all in good intentions until I got into swiping for appearance and potentially good dates. After having a fun spark with an American I wanted to date once a week for 6 weeks. To me a date doesn’t include sex so I didn’t have on my hoe hat through any of this.
I do apologise in advance if I objectify men in this post.
So technically I spoke to 5 guys in 6 weeks and met 3 of them. After A I just saw it as dating and kept it simple and I chose to be open to dating. I kind of threw out the dating question to my Facebook friends as I recognised British and American people view this concept differently (click the pictures to read it fully).
So after an American-let’s call him A- I was like ok let’s try another one next week. I did not do anything with these men, it was conversation and flirting with food or not. A was super fine though, my other friends that were present saw how fine he was and was like, “Kirah, it’s #thotgetdick2k16”. Literally they told me this! But I’m just trying to behave and not catch anything in this life, pray for me!
Then I had a great convo with B that I met online. We met first in a bar because both of our friendship groups were out on St Patrick’s day. I was drinking and then started running to pee every 10 mins, worst thing ever and I’m so apologetic for that because our convo was really good when we found each other after 3ish drinks. I had fun meeting him and his crazy friend that literally sold him to me! If you’re reading this, I refer to you as Smart Guy in my group chats so yes you were talked about 😜! We met a few times over the weeks and he was a lovely guy, had we both intended to stay in Shanghai long enough I think it could’ve worked.
Then there was C and D. Both I talked to and both irritated me quickly. C was an engineer with a promising retirement package. But I’m not trying to be with someone just so we could hurry up and get to the end goal. He had a way with words which interested me but then it dissolved quickly and I knew I wasn’t going to make time so I stopped wasting his messaging time. D was 26, over 5″10 plus Spanish so I was like yes it keeps getting better! As he’s a business owner in trade between China and other places. He was cool up until the typical 18 year old boy/roadman line of, “send me a pic of you”. No. Conversation over. It’s one of my most hated lines! Why would I send a pic of me when you can see my wechat time line and profile pic? You must obviously want to see a different type of picture but my body isn’t for you so no. Ladies, please don’t send a man your under clothing pic! Unless of course you really trust him and he’s seen it, licked it and felt it a good dozen times. Haha. Each to their own.
Then there was E after a short break because the picture guy threw me off (I didn’t even toy with the idea, literally our last message was him asking for the pic). So E was cool and loved food. We met for pancakes and I was like oh this is fun, very friendly and he’s an introvert so it could only be so much on the first encounter. He’s 24, I think all these guys have been between 24 and 28. At the end of brunch I knew this was a friend because it felt like I was talking to my brother. Which means; we got joke from everything, I guided a little, we talked heavily about similar topics and his body language was quiet and shy which is how my brother tends to be. So I see E as a friendly meet up more than a date because for all intents and purpose I just wanted to meet a foodie and talk about food and that was accomplished! He was a postgrad student too which is probably why we got on well.
So within the Tinder app I started with a personal trainer and made it to a business owner. I knew if I spoke to the 6 in 6 weeks that the last would’ve at least been a millionaire. Since everything got better and better. I 100% believed that but could never swipe right on a Chinese guy because they really don’t appeal to me just as I don’t appeal to them unless they want to try a rare delicacy. I’m not bigging myself or black people up, it’s actually true.
Anyway, I believe in dating and getting to know people. Serial dating I don’t think should be done but I think speaking to a few and fine tuning things quickly by weeding people out after a few meet ups is healthy. I obviously tried this as an experiment because I was first in this for friendship then wanted to try actually dating as an adult and this amount of people in a short space of time can be work if you’re trying to speak to people constantly for a week.
It was fun and I’m never doing this again. I’d just stick to speaking to 2 and meeting them then deciding who’s worth my time and continuing with one. I don’t believe in time wasting and I definitely don’t like giving many people my energy!