Morning talks on independence 

Independence stems from the need to have to do everything for yourself.

Pexel stock photo, I have more melanin in me

Picture this: I rolled over in bed not smelling anything, wishing I’d smelt breakfast on the stove. I’ll go downstairs to have to make my own as I live with 1 flatmate. Later in the day, I’ll have to make my other meals. The cleaning and washing up is on me as in my house we do our sections daily (wash dishes as you use) and the bathroom fortnightly when it’s your turn. Come Monday morning I have to go to work, I pay my bills not my parents nor do I share a bank account with a partner. Any groceries and personal items I need, I have to remember to buy as I can’t just take it from elsewhere. If there’s a mess, I clean it; no longer ignoring it for someone else to do because I’m in a hurry.

I was semi independent before I moved at 21, as in I had the skills, but you really only become independent when you’re out there doing it for yourself. The most I do that requires me to lean on my parents is to call and ask how to make something or what type of product fixes something.

I value having moved abroad as my first time under my own roof. I figured out the culture and adapted to a more fun and laid back lifestyle. In that, if I wasn’t paid on time (this happens) I could tell my flatmate I’d be late and to hold off the landlord with no worry. If I were paid late in England I still have to find that £400+ rent money that we each pay. Luckily in Spain things are a lot cheaper and the standard of living is of a higher quality but lower prices as an adult with no dependents. Tefl jobs are usually 1100-1300/1400 (non DELTA qualified) after tax, rent varies immensely depending on where you live, and apartment furnishings quality. I’ve seen 100/month in an old place, small 4 bedroom, small town versus 400 for a 2 bedroom Barcelona close to central ish metro links.

I would encourage parents to let their university teens (young adults really) move out for university or in 3rd year and tell them it’s to help them focus. Actually that could go wrong depending on the person. But hey, learning independence matures you. You appreciate that extra body or family nagging in the house later.

Everything you want, you have to go get/make. Literally!

What age did you move out? How have you coped with some difficulties that sometimes happens? Could you live with your parents again? Comment below! 


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